We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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