how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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