He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
