Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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