worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
