So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
