Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
