im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
