oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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