my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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