gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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