I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize