I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
