I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
