couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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