Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
