i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
