too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
