Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
