she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
operation harelip BJ is a go
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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