escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
