Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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