apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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