What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
