I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
