I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
