OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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