we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
