so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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