It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
