was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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