Sponge bath it is.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
