I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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