there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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