i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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