My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
