i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
