i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
