high people should be assigned attendants
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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