playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
