We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
