We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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