Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
