I can tuck mytits in my pants
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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