I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
