Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were destined to go to rehab together
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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