I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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