I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
