Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
