on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
