You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
