Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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