No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize