is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
