He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
