GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
