i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
