yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
