wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
high people should be assigned attendants
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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