the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
