If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
