Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
