How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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