i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
