i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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