I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
