There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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