yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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